Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Back in the swing

Made it back home to Keither after a roadtrip to So.Oregon for a funeral. It's always a relief to not die while we're apart. It's much better to get back home. I felt relieved as soon as I was back in Portland. I had to ride the MAX home since there wasn't time to drop me off. The roads on the way home were terrible most of the way and it added quite a bit of time to the commute. Had some good chats with the family.

sunset at other rest stop (Friday p.m.)

power out @ rest stop (Sunday a.m.)

No work and only part of school this week. Lecture's been canceled both days due to weather/cold/snow. And I took Mon & Tues as bereavement days. (2) 10-hour days this week and then the weekend. Feels off. But I'm taking advantage of Doing Nothing.

Keith turned 39 Monday. We don't get each other presents or cards usually, it's not expected anyway. But I told him at the end of the day that I felt badly--like I should've done more for his birthday. What if he changed his mind and really did want something. I asked, he said nothing in particular.

My bank ate my student loan refund check today. I told my shrink I was getting itchy to spend some money on a new tattoo. But I have to be responsible, whatever that is, and pay some bills first. But you can be guaranteed my tax refund money will be spent on personal decoration. Having big chunks of money delivered in the mail is bizarre. Makes me lust for new tattoos, new computers, new things of all kinds that I don't really need. We're talking about saving money to move to some place that has a yard for the doggies. They need to be able to go outside more. Lazlo reminds me with his head on my lap, nudging my arm with his nose. Small whines. Pathetic look.

Still waiting to hear from OHSU. I've made several possible scenarios in my head and my response to them, although I'm sure one exists that I haven't thought of. Aside from my fears and concerns about going to OHSU, if I get in I'll be super excited so just forget I had any reservations.
"...the whole notion that someone has a 'career'
instead of just doing whatever you feel like doing
at any given time has always amused me
when it didn't make me wanna vomit."
(Lester Bangs,
"An Instant Fan's Inspired Notes:
You Gotta Listen," 1980)

Through, apparently, no fault of my own I've been promoted at work to a position that is very conducive to my outside interests/school/day dreaming. No supervision, really. No production quotas. Cool smart people to work with. It's nice actually, I appreciate that my universe is conspiring with me in this way. Especially since I've recently become obsessed with finding A Theory of Everything. I have been assured by a medical professional that I am not "committable," so just go with it. So I spend a lot of my work days reading The Internets. One of the theories out there is String Theory, but no one knows of a way to prove it. And I certainly don't claim to be able to figure out how to do that---physicstalk puts me into a coma. However, quantum mechanics is a very interesting field to me and I've started keeping a notebook of information I think is related or can later be incorporated into a ToE. Mostly science, but also sociology, and the paranormal. I had an awakening a few weeks ago and I've been heading down this path ever since. It feels ridiculous to be thinking about such abstract and seemingly useless ideas, but what else do I have to think about? I mean Daily Life can only occupy so much of my brain capacity. So I am actively seeking information on: string theory, parallel universes, the paranormal, ADD, neurology, anatomy of the brain, DNA vs. RNA, consciousness, infinity... please contribute if you can. Did you hear about this surfer dude with a Ph.D. who submitted his ToE? To varied reactions.

We joined Flexcar and it appears they let us join. There was some concern on my end that the unfortunate incident with the rental car would keep us from joining. For all intents and purposes we should receive our Welcome Package in the mail this week or next. Which means: day trips out of the freakin city, buying items that are too large to carry home, taking the dogs to other dog parks and the river, etc. maybe even Sauvie Island!, grocery shopping outside of our walking radius (WinCo!) It's surprisingly cheap. Well, it all depends on the type of car you want and how long you need it, but it seems like it will be a good fit for us.

map of locations of available cars in PDX

funeral flowers

class was canceled so I studied in the cafeteria

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