So this is for all of you who might need to hire someone in the future. First of all, not everyone looking for a job is incompetent. There is a reason they're looking for a job. Either they really need work or by the odd chance, they find what you do somewhat interesting and might want to learn something new. Don't assume that you are smarter than the person sitting across from you. Treat them with respect. If you have half a brain in that fetal alcohol syndrome shaped head of yours, maybe you should use it, if for nothing else than to smile. We should all take the time to try something new. Second. If you post an ad, make sure the ad contains ALL the information. If you want someone experienced in the field then say so. Don't say "experience a plus." Don't waste your time or anyone who might come in to apply. Just because someone answered your ad doesn't mean that they're sitting home eating BBQ Lay's surfing the web with their cock in their hand. Third. If someone does come in to apply for a job that you have posted, make sure that you're familiar with the ad. It really doesn't look professional when you hollar down the hall if anyone's seen the ad in question. Take a little pride in your position. I'm sure you didn't suck someones dick to make bindery manager. Fourth. If you have filled the position, remove the fucking ad. Maybe if I wasn't sitting in your office while you discuss your companies financial business over the phone in front of a stranger, I could be looking for a job that is still available. I never got a job that wasn't available and I'm sure you've never hired anyone you didn't need. Fifth. NEVER, and I mean this, NEVER assume that the person sitting across from you can't spell sarcasm. Give it a few minutes and then make that assumption. There are alot of intelligent people in the world who aren't fucking professors. There are alot of people who don't watch American Idol, WWF, Nascar or football. What you should assume initially is that this person doesn't even watch t.v. What you should assume initially is that this person has invested an incredible amount of time and money into what they thought was a worthwhile career, only to be disappointed. What you should assume is that this person actually knows how the world works, that life is hard, the world is fucked and they are willing to actually grace you shitty little company entertaining the thought of contributing something. Sixth and goal. Smile and be courteous. If you aren't, you are conveying an atmosphere of stress and confusion. Remember, nobody likes a jerkoff. Honestly. Nobody.
Well kids, that's the lesson for today. And what did we learn? Don't be a jag.
Thank you for your time and I hope to see all of you again real soon.
Until then, this is Keith.