Tuesday, August 15, 2006

A lesson on how NOT to help people

This week has been a struggle, I admit. I started a new job last Thursday. Friday was a near-crisis. I existed only inside my head where I was forced to watch the most horribly painfully bad TV show (worse than The Tony Danza Show) from which I was unable to escape. The day ended in me telling my new employer that I had overestimated my available emotional energy and I would not be able to fulfill agreed upon job requirements. I was desperate you see.

So this week I have been referred referred referred to various mental health providers, not a one being able to provide me with anything but grief and frustration. I spent 3+ hours in the ER last night trying to get some g.d. satisfaction (i.e. Rx), but to no avail. Let's put her in a room, make her repeat her story several time to several people, make her wait wait wait and then tell her no go. Okay, NOT helpful. At all. This caused me to walk home bawling at 11:00pm, holding Keith's hand, trying to take just one deep breath. Keith has this great quality of being able to reel me in when I need it most, and I have needed it often lately. So he reeled, I returned and I fell asleep dreaming of elusive prescriptions.

(using shopping cart to take our Costco loot upstairs)

Today was better for some unexplainable reason, but I was grateful it was. I finally contacted someone who scheduled an appt with me on Friday and I see some light at the end of the tunnel. I am thankful for friends and family at Times Like These. Although it's hard to reach out, I am always grateful for the support I get when I do.


RockO said...

that sucks...i'm sorry to hear that. give yourself at least 6 months to find your happiness...i bet your still super stressed from the move...
take care of yourself. :)

kntgrl said...

hang in there lady. wouldn't it be nice to be one of those glazed happy people only when you felt like opting in?
the alternative is harder, and you'll be kickin' it soon enough.

make sense?!